


IT'S ALWAYS SKAIA IN PHILADELPHIA

by Classpectanon



Category: Homestuck, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: Crossover, Drabble, Drabble Collection, Gen, Other, Pesterlog(s) (Homestuck)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-30
Updated: 2020-04-30
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:55:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23919304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Classpectanon/pseuds/Classpectanon
Summary: CHARLIE: It's a Warhammer of Zildyhoot! Or something I dunno a Future Charlie told me to-(Mac blasts his airhorn, smirking. Dee points at the sign reading: NO FUTURE OR PAST CHARLIE TALK)CHARLIE: Oh man, that's not fair! You asked!-----A collection of alt-universe drabbles from various fictional media, with the characters getting the ignominious honor of playing Sburb. A collaboration between Classpectanon and KH2024.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 12





	IT'S ALWAYS SKAIA IN PHILADELPHIA

CHARLIE: It's a Warhammer of Zildyhoot! Or something I dunno a Future Charlie told me to-  
(Mac blasts his airhorn, smirking. Dee points at the sign reading: NO FUTURE OR PAST CHARLIE TALK)  
CHARLIE: Oh man, that's not fair! You asked!

* * *

FRANKSPRITE: What the hell are you all doing? You need to build up the bar and get to the gate!  
GANG: (Drunken grumbles and expletives)  
DENNIS: Look, Frank-  
FRANK: What?  
DENNIS: Not you, Ghost Frank.  
FRANKSPRITE: FrankSprite.  
DENNIS: WHO CARES. We can't build the bar because we're out of grist or shale or whatever.  
MAC: Which would't have happened if Charlie didn't waste it all on human sized cat socks!  
CHARLIE: Kitten Mittens, and they're for a giant cat!  
MAC: Those are just regular mittens!

* * *

GANG: (Assorted Shouting, interrupted by Dee)  
DEE: Whats up losers?  
MAC: What are you wearing? Are those pajamas?  
DENNIS: Its a bad look, Dee.  
CHARLIE: You look like a circus performer. Astroback.  
MAC: Acrobat.  
DEE: Shut up turds, you are addressing a God.  
GANG: (Hysterical Jeering)  
DEE: Stop laughing! I went god tier!  
DENNIS: So what? That doesnt make you better than us.  
FRANKSPRITE: By definition it does.  
DENNIS: SILENCE, YOU TRASH SPEWING GHOUL!  
MAC: Dennis, buddy, relax!  
DEE: That's right. I have ascended. Bow down, mortals.  
FRANK: So how did you die?  
GANG: (All stop arguing and turn to DEE)  
CHARLIE: What?  
MAC: You died?  
FRANK: You gotta bite it on your rock bed. How'd you die?  
DEE: That's not really important.  
CHARLIE: What, did you start shitting and couldnt stop? Cause this one time Frank and I found some good turtle meat-  
FRANK and FRANKSPRITE: Tortoise  
CHARLIE: Right Tortoise Turtle from a bodega freezer that was unplugged in an alley, and we were shitting for like two days.  
MAC: Jesus.  
CHARLIE: Nah it was fine, but we had to stay hydrated and the sink was clogged.  
DENNIS: With what? Also, we're coming back to the bodega meat and how you shat yourself on a rock bed, Dee.  
DEE: I DIDN'T SHIT MYSELF.  
CHARLIE: We only had one toilet!  
DENNIS: oh dear lord.  
DEE: FINE. So I was-  
DENNIS: Nobody cares, Dee. GhostFrank, you're with me.  
FRANKSPRITE: What? No I'm not. I'm Charlie's Guardian.  
DENNIS: Fine. Charlie, you're with me. We're fixing this whole 'God Tier' thing.  
CHARLIE: I mean, Frank and Frank and I were gonna go check out this sweet trash pile on Franks-  
DEE: Wait, hold on-  
GANG: (Shouting)  
DENNIS: SHUT UP. I AM NOT SPENDING ANOTHER MINUTE AS A LESSER BEING.  
MAC: Dude, you're not less, just as good at the game as Dee. Look at me, I rule at this game and Im not a god tier.  
FRANKSPRITE: Mac, you havent even started your quest!  
MAC: Shut up Ghost Frank. Im doing my own thing. Right Dee?  
DEE: You're all pretty much worthless.  
DENNIS: Then it's time to go God Tier.

THE GANG KILLS DENNIS.  
ITS ALWAYS SKAIA IN PHILIDELPHIA  
  
THE LAND OF SILVER AND ROPE  
ON A TUESDAY  


CHARLIE: So this is your land? It's super shiny!  
FRANK: And gay.  
DENNIS: Frank, we're the only people left alive and you're calling my land Gay?  
FRANKSPRITE: The Land of Silver and Rope is a reflection-  
DENNIS: No one cares. It's awesome. So where's my best bed?  
FRANKSPRITE: Quest Bed. It'll be somewhere significant in your quest. Which you all should be doing instead of sitting around and drinking in the bar you haven't built.  
CHARLIE: Nah it's cool I got Future Charlie on it.  
DENNIS: Future Charlie?  
CHARLIE: Yeah! Check this shit out Hey Charlie?  
FUTURE CHARLIE: Hey dude!  
FUTURE CHARLIE & CHARLIE: Hey! Can, Oh, shit, No you... Go... Just say it...  
CHARLIE: Wait I'll go. Can you build the bar?  
FUTURE CHARLIE: Already did!  
CHARLIE: Awesome. Thanks man!  
DENNIS: Wait, no you haven't. Charlie, do all your conversations with yourself go like this?  
FUTURE CHARLIE & CHARLIE: Like what?  
FRANK: Hey Future Charlie, how do we kill Dennis and get him to a God Tier?  
FUTURE CHARLIE: I dunno, lemme ask a Past Charlie. Hey Charlie!  
PAST CHARLIE, CHARLIE, & FUTURE CHARLIE: Hey! Oh, hey! Hey Frank!  
DENNIS: Oh jesus no. I would rather kill myself that keep this going.  
CHARLIE: Dennis is right dudes. Get out of here.  
(Past Charlie draws his Batkind and slams it into his forehead, killing him instantly. Future Charlie disappears.)  
DENNIS: HOLY SHIT! WHAT THE FUCK DUDE  
CHARLIE: What? It's just how he leaves.  
DENNIS: HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT WORK.  
CHARLIE: I dunno, man. It's time stuff. Don't worry about it.  
FRANK: Yeah, stop getting all worked up Dennis. It's just a little blood.

* * *

DENNIS: Frank, why do all the monsters look like you?  
FRANK: How the hell should I know? I don't play videogames.  
CHARLIE: Oh, its cause we tossed Frank into the Popup ghost.  
FRANK: You did?  
CHARLIE: Well not you, Frank. Other Franks.  
FRANKSPRITE: Future Franks from timelines other than the Alpha Timeline  
MAC: Like that movie with the shitty bronze machine and the vampires.  
DENNIS: "The Time Machine"?  
MAC: Nah it had the parkinsons guy.  
DEE: Fine but why do ALL the monsters just look like Frank? Shouldnt they look like Ryan Gosling too?  
DENNIS: Ryan Gosling. Why would they look like Ryan Gosling?  
DEE: Well, Charlie gets a Frank Ghost, I wanted Ryan Ghost!  
GANG: (Disgust and Boos)  
DEE: Oh screw you all. Wheres RyanGhost!  
CHARLIE: Yeah that was lame so I just tossed Frank in all your popghosts. Well, Past Charlie did.  
AIRHORN  
DENNIS: Wait. So how many times did you prototype Frank?

FRANK VERSUS THE UNIVERSE  
ITS ALWAYS SKAIA IN PHILIDELPHIA

**Author's Note:**

> All comments, kudos, bookmarks, and views are seen, noted, and greatly appreciated. Thank you for reading.
> 
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/classpectanon)  
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> 


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